Alas, poor Haim. I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite moves; of most excellent adventures — he hath made milk shooteth out my nose a thousand times. And how bogus it is, the chunks rise at it. Here on my laptop is his episode of Big Wolf on Campus, that I have watched I know not how oft. Where be your awesomeness now? You’re hair gel? Your hilarious accent? Your occasional TV guest spot? No one, now, to enjoy your “Corey Dance”? Is your ‘do all limp and lifeless? Now get on my sister’s TV, as Sam, the best character in Lost Boys. Make her laugh at you in that.

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